No Harm Done

Friday, August 25, 2006

Captain Kirk in Camelot

I love a good parody, and this one combines a Monty Python sketch with Star Trek characters. I pity the fool who had to watch countless Star Trek episodes to find scenes that would work in this video.

I suppose, though, had I watched more Star Trek, I probably would've scored higher on the Nerd Test.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Breaking a Promise

Okay, I know I promised not to take these online quizzes anymore, but c'mon! How could I pass up a "How Nerdy Are You?" quiz?

I'm weak.

But look!

I am nerdier than 25% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!

I'm not nearly as nerdy as I thought I'd be. I'm not hip, but...well...pretty much anyone who's ever met me knows that. No surprise there.

So. How nerdy are you?

Sunday, August 20, 2006


Okay, between this online quiz result:

You Are Most Like Bill Clinton

No doubt, your legacy may be a little seedier than you'd like.
But even though you've done some questionable things, you're still loved by almost all.

and these results from 2005 (Blog quiz 2005) ,

I'm swearing off of online quizzes! (Apparently, I have issues .....)

Friday, August 18, 2006

I'm a Rabid Anti-Dentite!

Perhaps "rabid anti-dentite" is overstating my sentiments a bit. My hope is that many of you will remember this quote from an old Seinfeld episode:

JERRY: So you won't believe what happened with Whatley today. It got back to him that I made this little dentist joke and he got all offended. Those people can be so touchy.
KRAMER: Those people, listen to yourself.
JERRY: What?
KRAMER: You think that dentists are so different from me and you? They came to this country just like everybody else, in search of a dream.
JERRY: Kramer, he's just a dentist.
KRAMER: Yeah, and you're an anti-dentite.
JERRY: I am not an anti-dentite!
KRAMER: You're a rabid anti-dentite! Oh, it starts with a few jokes and some slurs. "Hey, denty!" Next thing you know you're saying they should have their own schools.
JERRY: They do have their own schools!

This morning I had an appointment scheduled with the dentist. It was to be nearly two hours long, as I had several old fillings that needed to be replaced. I wasn’t looking forward to this. I can handle cleanings, and I’m not really afraid of having dental work done. But years ago, when I had a filling put in the dentist started drilling before I was completely numb.

Now, in his defense, we all thought I was numb. But once he started working, it became VERY apparent that I needed more anesthetic. Ever since then, I’ve been a bit anxious when it comes to dental work. I’m always pretty clear that I’ll need a bit more anesthetic than the average Joe gets, just to be safe. And as the dentist is working, the following scene from a movie is always in the back of my mind.

Well! I mentioned that to my new dentist, and he assured me that I would be numb. And I was. In fact, not only were my teeth numb, but so was my chin, my cheek, my nose, the area around my eye, and my ear! My ear!! He went the extra anesthetic mile!

He also suggested we use some nitrous oxide. I was surprised, because I thought laughing gas was something they used way back when in the 40’s and 50’s when they didn’t know better. (You know, like when they thought smoking was safe and prescribed thalidomide to expectant moms.) I don’t know where I got that idea.

Let me tell you that the two hours I spent at the dentist’s today was the most fun I have had at a dentist’s office. Ev-er. In fact, I have a follow up appointment next week and I’m actually looking forward to it! That laughing gas is AMAZING!

I basically lay in the chair and hallucinated for two hours while they worked. My body was disconnected from my brain and time stood still. And you know what I thought about?

Blogging. How lame am I?

I thought of witty comments and artful turns of phrase that I would use to blog about today. How many of them do I remember? None. But in my gas-induced haze I was clever and brilliant, and oh-so-sad when they turned it off.

Maybe I can convince them to let me use laughing gas when I come in for my 6 month checkups?

My mask was more high-tech than this, but likely looked just as silly.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

For years M. and I have lamented the state of the modern evangelical church in America. The "seeker-sensitive" drive to pack the pews no matter the method and no matter the compromise has become depressingly more apparent with each of our moves to a new city.

This video is a great illustration of a large part of, well, both the problem and the results, I suppose. Enjoy! (Hat tip to Sarah at Christian Ethics PhD.)

Monday, August 14, 2006

I'd spend waaay more time on the treadmills at the gym if I could do something like this!

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Friday, August 11, 2006


... and the blogging is scare. I was shocked to discover I hadn't blogged in almost a week, and it was the second week in row! Sorry about that!

This week started out bumpy. We started school last week and all week everything went smoothly. I didn't expect any troubles at all this Monday when we began week two. The boys on the other hand were shocked. SHOCKED! when I said it was time to start the school day. By the days end we had completed our lessons, but there was a good deal of grumbling done, and by lunchtime I was one grumpy Mama.

On our way home from an errand, Braden cut himself on a rusty part of our car door. No, we do not drive a rust bucket. But somehow he managed to find the one rusty spot on the inside of a hinge. So, after a quick phone call, off we went to the doctor's office for a tetanus booster. Poor kid.

On Wednesday we learned that demolition teams planned to use explosives to bring down a portion of a large bridge in our area. The bridge is nearly 70 years old and a new bridge is being built in its place. The blast was to happen at 1:00, so after lunch I spontaneously packed the boys in the van and we headed downtown to watch. We ended up in a scary vacant lot in the abandoned warehouse section of town. We could just see the bridge from where we stood. I suppose we could've gone closer, but that would've put us near the river and I didn't want to have to worry about kids in the river.

The blast went off 40 minutes late, which wouldn't have been a problem, except that we were standing in a scary vacant lot. Downtown. In 106 degree heat. The lot smelled "like pigs", which was unnerving because there were a lot of people there, but no livestock anywhere in sight. I was trying hard not to think of what might be causing that smell, when finally a dump truck left the lot, taking the smell with it. Whatever that stench was, it emanated from that truck and we all breathed much easier when it departed.

This is the "before" picture. You can see the concrete bridge, and part of the concrete railing has already broken. Just beyond the fence is the levee. A helicopter circled overhead until just before the blast.

I'd hoped to get shots of the bridge as it came down, but it happened way too fast. We heard a loud blast that reminded us of cannon fire, the bridge crumbled, and the cloud of dust rose into the air. It was really fun, depite the heat. The boys are eager to go back and watch them blow up the other two sections of the bridge soon.

Here's the "after" picture. Can you see where the bridge is gone? It just sort of ends in mid-air. You can see the bridge coming from the right side of the photo, and then just past the hinge in the arm of the cherry-picker it stops.

Here are other random pictures from our summer of fun:

It's everyone's favorite! Candyland! Colson's old enough to take turns and follow the directions now.

What? Colson? A ham? Whatever gave you that idea? Here's Colson modeling his movie star glasses at a Fourth of July barbeque.

Batman showed up recently to work on my deck. He showed up unannounced, discovered only after I ventured onto the deck to figure out what the noise was out there. He did a great job, fixing the railing and repairing the stairs.

Here he is glaring at me after I'd asked him if he was with a union.

Colson stalking squirrels at the Omaha zoo.

Braden offered to make dinner for us last week. He made macaroni and cheese, and took care of setting the table and getting drinks for us. This has kind of been the summer of Braden's growing up. Or at least the summer of me noticing that he's growing up.

But that is a blog for another time.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Well. That Was ....... Fun.

What a weekend. WHAT a weekend. We had tremendous highs, and messy, messy lows.

Let's use our "way back machine" to transport back in time to last Thursday night. It is still July. It's 9:00. The boys are all in bed. I'm planning a HUGE shopping marathon for Friday. My cupboards are bare, and I'd spent the evening writing a comprehensive list that spanned 3 separate stores.

Suddenly, my computer alerts me to an incoming e-mail from a friend. I'm excited because I love e-mail. Love, love, love it! (But not the spam.)

((Friend, if you are reading this, know that I will not out you. And despite the havoc that your e-mail caused, I still count you as a friend. ))

My friend writes an e-mail to inform me that she has discovered that one of her children has .......... lice.

The above picture pretty accurately depicts my reaction. The boys had spent an afternoon at this friend's house this week.

Now, it's 9:00 at night. Everyone's asleep but me. But, me being me, their need for sleep does not stop me from waking the boys and forcing them to sit under the bright bathroom lights while I comb through their hair. Poor things. Thankfully, I saw nothing alarming in anyone's hair.

Once the boys are back in bed, I call Friend. She laughs as she answers the phone. "You got my e-mail?" She's been through this before, so she gives me lots of ideas about what to do, and hopefully how to prevent *shudder* an infestation. Internet websites gave me additional ideas. The rest of my Thursday night was spent drawing up battle plans.

So Friday morning, it began. The prevention battle started at 8:00 am, right after we got home from swim practice:

Stage 1: Haircuts
The boys marched straight to the back deck for haircuts. Braden and Brogan now have very short hair. Braden always did, though, so he does not look any different. Brogan had a little longer style, and the shorter hair makes him looks older. I could not bring myself to cut Colson's curls. He wanted me to, but I just. couldn't. do it.

Stage 2: Mayonaise Hats
This went over better than I thought. I coated all of our hair in mayonaise (it's a great conditioner. Didn't you know?) and then wrapped our heads in saran wrap. It actually felt kind of nice. We wore the hats while we ate breakfast and watched "Finding Nemo." Toward the end of the movie, though, we could definitely notice the mayo. Brogan said, "I smell like a sandwich."

Stage 3: The Rinse
Each of us rinsed in the kitchen sink. First with water, then with dish soap, next with vinegar, and finally, water again. After the kitchen rinse, we marched off to the bathrooms for showers and baths.

Stage 4: Tea Tree Oil
In the baths we washed our hair with our regular shampoo and a drop of tea tree oil. Stinky, but effective. Or so I'm told.

By now it's 11:00 in the morning and there's MUCH more to be done. We piled in the hallway ALL the bedding from 4 beds, ALL the clothing we've worn over the past couple of days, ALL the bath towels, and ALL the stuffed animals. I will only say that our washer/dryer ran the ENTIRE time we were home, and it still took 2 days to do all that laundry. Ugh.

The rest of the weekend featured TWO marathon grocery shopping trips, ONE long morning spent at a swim meet, NINE dinners cooked and stored in my freezer for later, ONE trip to a local pool, and TWO trips off the drop-off slides at the pool.

I am exhausted.