I'm a Rabid Anti-Dentite!

Perhaps "rabid anti-dentite" is overstating my sentiments a bit. My hope is that many of you will remember this quote from an old Seinfeld episode:

JERRY: So you won't believe what happened with Whatley today. It got back to him that I made this little dentist joke and he got all offended. Those people can be so touchy.
KRAMER: Those people, listen to yourself.
JERRY: What?
KRAMER: You think that dentists are so different from me and you? They came to this country just like everybody else, in search of a dream.
JERRY: Kramer, he's just a dentist.
KRAMER: Yeah, and you're an anti-dentite.
JERRY: I am not an anti-dentite!
KRAMER: You're a rabid anti-dentite! Oh, it starts with a few jokes and some slurs. "Hey, denty!" Next thing you know you're saying they should have their own schools.
JERRY: They do have their own schools!

This morning I had an appointment scheduled with the dentist. It was to be nearly two hours long, as I had several old fillings that needed to be replaced. I wasn’t looking forward to this. I can handle cleanings, and I’m not really afraid of having dental work done. But years ago, when I had a filling put in the dentist started drilling before I was completely numb.

Now, in his defense, we all thought I was numb. But once he started working, it became VERY apparent that I needed more anesthetic. Ever since then, I’ve been a bit anxious when it comes to dental work. I’m always pretty clear that I’ll need a bit more anesthetic than the average Joe gets, just to be safe. And as the dentist is working, the following scene from a movie is always in the back of my mind.





Well! I mentioned that to my new dentist, and he assured me that I would be numb. And I was. In fact, not only were my teeth numb, but so was my chin, my cheek, my nose, the area around my eye, and my ear! My ear!! He went the extra anesthetic mile!

He also suggested we use some nitrous oxide. I was surprised, because I thought laughing gas was something they used way back when in the 40’s and 50’s when they didn’t know better. (You know, like when they thought smoking was safe and prescribed thalidomide to expectant moms.) I don’t know where I got that idea.

Let me tell you that the two hours I spent at the dentist’s today was the most fun I have had at a dentist’s office. Ev-er. In fact, I have a follow up appointment next week and I’m actually looking forward to it! That laughing gas is AMAZING!

I basically lay in the chair and hallucinated for two hours while they worked. My body was disconnected from my brain and time stood still. And you know what I thought about?

Blogging. How lame am I?

I thought of witty comments and artful turns of phrase that I would use to blog about today. How many of them do I remember? None. But in my gas-induced haze I was clever and brilliant, and oh-so-sad when they turned it off.

Maybe I can convince them to let me use laughing gas when I come in for my 6 month checkups?



My mask was more high-tech than this, but likely looked just as silly.