No Harm Done

Wednesday, March 19, 2008



It's been awhile since I've posted. Why, you ask? Well, because I haven't gotten my act together enough to blog. Nothing really exciting has happened recently, and while I do have a couple of family-related posts I need to add, I'm not quite ready to do that yet.

Not only has nothing interesting happened to us lately, but nothing embarrassing has happened either. Ordinarily that would be a good thing, but for me embarrassment is a blog staple. I kind of miss it.

I've come close to embarrassing myself over the past couple of weeks. For example, I sent an e-mail to my pastor and had meant to tell him that having both M. and me at church at two different times on the same evening would require a bit of "vehicle choreography." Instead I typed "vehicle horeography."

See? Amusing, but not embarrassing.

I tend to give other people their most embarrassing moments, rather than give them to myself.

For the past 20 years, whenever my college roommate D. has been asked "What's your most embarrassing moment?" she begins by responding, "Hillary and I were......"

(Side note: For the past 20 years, when I tell about D.'s most embarrassing moment I cannot tell the story without laughing so hard my sides ache, I cannot breathe, and tears stream down my face. Recently I was telling Braden this story while driving on the Interstate, missed my exit, and ended up on a 30 minute detour on the turnpike. Yikes!)

Were you to ask M. about his most embarrassing moment, he'd begin, "Four years ago, Hillary came upstairs and....."

Probably, were you to ask my parents about their most embarrassing moments they'd mention me at some point. (Actually, I think my mom's answer would involve both Santa Claus and me.)

M. and I went out to dinner recently at a deli-type restaurant. We were seated near the bathrooms, and at one point during our meal I heard the toilet flush and the bathroom door open practically simultaneously. From the bathroom emerged an 11 or 12 year old boy. As he walked past our table I said to him, "Wash your hands!"

At first he looked shocked that I would speak to him. But immediately he whirled around on his heelies and said, "Oh yeah!" as he headed into the bathroom.

M. Was. Horrified. "Do you know him?"

"No, " I said. "but I would've wanted someone to tell my boys to wash their hands. "

Remember that song from the Pee-Wee Herman show?
"A sailor travels to many lands,
Anywhere he pleases.
And he always remembers to wash his hands
So's he won't get no diseases!"

M. was not amused, and he ate quickly, determined (I think) to finish our meal so we could exit the premises before the boy's angry parents came over. The boy came out of the bathroom eventually, and smiled at me as I gave him the thumbs-up.
See? What was embarrassing about that?
Sheesh! I typed all of that and never got to the videos I'd intended to post. I'll get to them tomorrow. G'night!


At 9:41 PM , Blogger Darin said...

oddly enough - I believe I've heard the Santa Claus incident before.

At 10:09 PM , Blogger Hillary said...

Seriously? Hmmm... now that I think about it, you probably have. You have a frighteningly good memory!

At 3:53 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

And I've heard it WAY too many times. Believe it or not, it was funny, but was probably not in my top 10 most embarrassing moments.

At 10:32 PM , Blogger Melissa said...

You missed your exit, because you were telling somebody else's embarrassing story... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That's embarrassing! ;-D


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