News Flash

Posted at Jo's Boys.

"The French government recently announced a raise in its terror alert level from Run to Hide. The normal level is General Arrogance, and the only two higher levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate. The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country’s military capability.

It’s not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert:

Italy has increased the alert level from Shout Loudly and Excitedly to Elaborate Military Posturing. Two more levels remain, Ineffective Combat Operations and Change Sides.

The Germans also increased their alert state from Disdain to Dress In Uniform and Sing Marching Songs. They have two higher levels: Invade a Neighbour and Lose.

The British are also feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have raised their security level from Miffed to Peeved. Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to Irritated or even A Bit Cross. Londoners have not been “A Bit Cross” since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from Tiresome to Bloody Nuisance. The last time the British issued a Bloody Nuisance warning level was during the Great Fire of London in 1666."